Patriot Game (Oliver North)

when Ollie was a little guy, barely born
he said “I’m a-gonna get me a uniform
I’m gonna strut my stuff and claim my fame
and everybody’s gonna know my name”

coulda been a Boy Scout, proud and brave
coulda been a preacher with a soul to save
coulda been a turkey on a trampoline
but he did ’em one better and became a Marine

in the officer school way up east
up-standing to say the least
he may have strained his brain they say
but he passed the muster anyway

in jungle duty in a flack attack
he learned the very basic fact
that in the name of being patriotic
it’s alright to go psychotic

he was rubbin’ shoulders, turnin’ tricks
doin’ all the necessary politics
to climb up from that lowly shore
all the way up to the White House door

oh what luck for a soldier’s dream
welcome in to the Secret Team
“here’s your office, here’s your phone
and a paper shredder you can call your own”

so when Congress rose to pull the plug
on Reagan’s favorite foreign thugs
Ollie jumped up quick to say
“don’t worry sir, where there’s a will there’s a way”

“we’ll run some guns, sell some drugs
sweep it all underneath the rug
get a bank account with a foreign adviser
and nobody will be any the wiser”

so when the matter hit the fan
Ollie took it like a man
he said “alright, they want to play that game
we’ll lay all the blame on Casey’s brain”

he took the oath and he took the stand
and he raised his salutary hand
he said “yes I did it, yeah so what
I’m proud to be a patriot”

the wide world watched in awe
and dropped their jaw at what they saw
as in the name of god on high
he spat right in the world’s eye

flags were wavin’, stripes and stars
metal chested battle scars
you could almost hear the gipper drool
for Ollie’d been to acting school

some say guilty, some say innocent
some say he oughtta be president
some say let the big ship sink
but me, I don’t know what to think

as outside on the mindless lawn
a crowd was gathered to cheer him on
and you could hear the gipper sigh
“that Ollie North’s my kind of guy”

in these dis-United States
reality hibernates
under cover of a bright tattoo
where all you see is what they want you to

so as I go along my way
I’d like to think we’d see the light some day
you can’t talk sense to a man insane
when everybody’s playin’ the patriot game