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Billion Dollar Jaw

I’ll tell you a story ‘bout a talk show host
who’s riding the airwaves from coast to coast
rakin’ in the money like a royal flush
always in a hurry, that’s why they call him Rush

he’s gotta make it to the mic, make it to the phone
he’s mister personality from flesh to bone
he’s got answer for anything you might want to know
and if he doesn’t well, hey, it’s his radio show

Rush Limbaugh, the billion dollar jaw
Rush Limbaugh, there oughtta be a law

his fans are legion I’ve heard it said
and they call themselves “Ditto Heads”
but a ditto is a repeat down to the bone
so a head with a ditto ain’t nothin’ but a clone

he pushes all the buttons that are feedin’ the fear
crawlin’ like a maggot in your inside ear
if brain cells were made out of papier mâché
he wouldn’t know what to do with ‘em anyway

Rush Limbaugh, the billion dollar jaw
Rush Limbaugh, there oughtta be a law

now, it’s a funny kind of cult-like radio thing
some middle-aged frat rat pumpin’ for the right wing
and all those cloned-out echoey heads
hangin’ on to every other word he said

take Mussolini, give him a microphone
let him loose with a show of his own
and like everybody’s favorite brown shirt clown
he’ll have you sidetrack laughin’ when the ax comes down

Rush Limbaugh, the billion dollar jaw
Rush Limbaugh, there oughtta be a law

some people really love him and they can’t get enough
buyin’ T-shirts, bumper stickers, all that stuff
he’s got a best seller on the New York Times
I guess some people don’t have a lot on their minds

now he’s a household word, a household name
just like the hair in my bathroom drain
like some kind of weird radio lobotomy
but I can tell you right now he ain’t talkin’ for me

Rush Limbaugh, the billion dollar jaw
Rush Limbaugh, there oughtta be a law

I’m gonna shut my radio and send it south
I’m gonna get me some fly paper and put it over his mouth
I’m gonna disconnect his company store
so I don’t have to put up with that kind of stuff anymore

and I’m gonna find me a place where people have brains
and they don’t put up with these virulent strains
and I’m gonna open up, I’m gonna settle down
and if Rush shows up I’m gonna run him out of town

Rush Limbaugh, the billion dollar jaw
Rush Limbaugh, there oughtta be a law