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Goodbye Bertha

(chorus)
goodbye Bertha, you miracle machine
you were the greatest drill bit the world has ever seen
now you’re stuck down in the mud
bleedin’ money like it was blood
and you ain’t goin’ anywhere

they were gonna build a tunnel from here to there
no matter what the cost, there was money everywhere
so they stuffed their brains down the corporate disposal
put their empty heads together and they came up with a proposal
and they were high fivin’, they were gettin’ it on
it was all a bed of roses until somethin’ went wrong

(chorus)

public relations and band-aid devices
corporations lawyers raisin’ prices
the bankers have insurance and the loopholes are greased
and the bandits makin’ money keep their pockets creased
and the mayor and the council may have egg on their faces
but they’ll just wipe it off and put in some safer places

(chorus)

so let’s seal it up and leave it for history to find
as a testimonial to our disconnected state of mind
or let’s dig it up and put it in the EMP
as a science fiction laughing stock for everyone to see
for the vanity and insanity of the bloated dollar bill
and all those creepy little people with their fingers in the till

(chorus)

history’s full with dumb ideas, they happen all the time
somebody’s disaster is someone else’s bottom line
for everything that goes up most of it comes down
and every other gold mine is just a hole in the ground
and sometimes it’s right when things go wrong
so let’s all celebrate and sing this song

(chorus)