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Phone To Fiddle With

tell you a story
‘bout a dread disease
people walkin’ around
like zombies
everybody’s losin’
their mind
starin’ at their cell phones
all the time

they all got a phone to fiddle with

i’m standin’ in line
in the coffee shop
manager says he’s gonna
call the cops
I say why and
he begins to grin
he says “you gotta have a phone
or you can’t come in”

and I ain’t got a phone to fiddle with

no i ain’t a got a phone
like a dog no bone
like a lonesome flyer
in a free fall zone
like a headless horse
in a hollywood myth
i ain’t got a phone
to fiddle with

there’s a burning bush
and a talking snake
and a hell fire
for chrissake
and a preacher with a way
to get out of it all
says all you gotta do is make
a phone call

but i ain’t got a phone to fiddle with

I met a pretty girl by
the taj mahal
said she was lookin’ for
a shopping mall
I said hold on
I got a map app
reached in my pocket
said “oh, crap”

‘cause i didn’t have a phone to fiddle with

I wnet to see
my MD
said he wanted to take
a look at me
thought I mighta had
the tofu flu
he says “i know what’s
wrong with you”

you just need a phone to fiddle with

lookin’ for love
online, you see
hopin’ somebody be
lookin’ for me
says must be handsome
must be grand
must play acoustic
guitar and

must have a phone to fiddle with

I had a nightmare
to tell you the truth
that I died to death
in a telephone booth
went up to heaven
on the head of a pin
knocked all day but
I couldn’t get in

‘cause i didn’t have a phone to fiddle with

no i ain’t a got a phone
like a dog no bone
like a lonesome flyer
in a free fall zone
like a headless horse
in a hollywood myth
i ain’t got a phone
to fiddle with

now i’m walkin’ around
in the shiny new
nothin’ made much sense
till i ran into you
sittin’ on a stone wall
takin’ a breather
you didn’t
have one either

no, you didn’t have a phone to fiddle with

now we’re together
most all the time
in analog and that’s
just fine
you don’t have yours and
I don’t have mine
we’re livin’ in
a land line

‘cause we ain’t got a phone to fiddle with
no you ain’t got a phone to fiddle with
and i ain’t got a phone to fiddle with
now what do we do