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Pig Alley

down along Pig Alley everything is in a fog
there is nothing moving anywhere except a hobo dog
with its nose stuck in a boiler that been busted 30 years
when from around a darkened corner a young cowboy appears
just got into town, it’s the Pike Street Kid
and the dog and him go off together down along the skid

the professor, he’s out looking out of curiosity
he wants to find some real people for the university
he finds a couple underneath a bench, half buried in the lawn
when a policeman comes up and wants to know what street he’s on
the professor says he’ll tell him but first he needs a hand
and together they go digging in the Pig Alley sand

from out of nowhere Pagliacci, who is very well depressed
comes with all his shoes untied though he is otherwise very well dressed
juggling a load of empty boxes as he fumbles for his keys
but they slip right through his fingers, he falls cursing to his knees
a midget monk comes up running with a huge iron cross
screaming at the top of his lungs, “Jesus is the boss!”

they’re growing winos in the cellar, underneath the street
trained to wear tuxedos and politely how to eat
Prince Charming, the graduate, had just finished the course
and holding his diploma he rides away on a big white horse
and he marries the pretty country girl who dreams of being a queen
but winds up washing dishes in the Pig Alley canteen

on the beach below the pilings in a well pitched camp
there lives Gentleman Jim with his band of trusty tramps
living almost entirely on dumb luck
still the gentleman’s got enough put aside to buy them a pickup truck
and the sun is shining brightly as down the road they drive
some of the very few to ever get out alive

there are many who have come here just to spend the day
to walk along the boardwalk to explore the alleyways
but its only one of a thousand who is ever allowed to leave
the rest have grown to the pavement and been stapled down by their sleeves
you can see them on the curbings with their pockets full of glass
they will hook you by your heels as you try to walk past

so come on down take a look, have the time of your lives
you only live once, so says the Jack Of Knives
treat yourself, feed your eyes, enjoy it while you can
see if you can beat them at their own sleight of hand
everyone is very friendly, they will all take you home
and you will never again ever have to be alone