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Poor Richard Shot His Wad

Poor Richard shot his wad
good god, he shot his wad
caught in the corner like a two-legged dog
Poor Richard shot his wad

caught like a rat with his teeth in the cheese
like a yellow-belly jellyfish shaky in the knees
he sunk down sinkin’ with his eyeballs blinkin’
thinkin’ “good god, Billy Graham, save me please!”

on the TV talkin’ till his tongue got sore
with his hand on the bible and his eye on the door
for to get out good while the gettin’s good
defeat with honor in the Watergate war

Gerald Ford, the ever-ready V.P.
dry in the mouth, watchin’ on the TV
thinkin’ in a muse “did I leave any clues
sure hope nobody comes checkin’ on me!”

Bebe Rebozo blew a fuse
his face went white when he heard the news
he said “head for the door before they find out any more
and if they ask any questions just act confused”

now the first lady was the first to stand
and she took Poor Richard by his poor right hand
then it’s out to the country, San Clemente
start livin’ on the presidential pension plan

back at home with the wife and kids
Poor Richard sat starin’ through his eyeball lids
sayin’ “I don’t see – why me?
I didn’t do nothin’ that nobody else did”

Poor Richard shot his wad
good god, he shot his wad
caught in the corner like a two-legged dog
Poor Richard shot his wad

so I’m lookin’ to the future with open eyes
I see ‘em all lined up and they’re droppin’ like flies
there’s two sides to a changing tide
one shall fall and the other shall rise

I hope you don’t think that it’s over and done
it was a long time comin’ but it’s only begun
he wasn’t alone, you know he wasn’t on his own
there’s a lot more where he came from

you take one man out, put another man in
make one man lose, let another man win
trade one for another and it’s just like the other
and you’re right back stuck to where you started again

there’s rats in the cracks of the constitution
and the godhead American institution
it’s a social disease they call the Three P’s
Power, Politics and Prostitution